There are generally 6 to 8 pallbearers at a funeral, and you can choose anyone you'd like to serve as one.
When Pallbearers Are Appropriate
If you plan on having an open casket at the funeral, the casket will already be set up at the funeral venue by that venue’s staff. If there will be a closed casket at the funeral, it is traditional to have pallbearers bring the casket into the venue and remove the casket from the venue to its transportation after the service. If there will be a cemetery burial after the service, the pallbearers can again carry or escort the casket from the hearse to the gravesite.
Who Can Be A Pallbearer
Pallbearers can be men or women, and are often either family members or close friends of the deceased. Traditionally, there are six pallbearers at a funeral, as there are usually six handles on a casket (three on each side), though there are often two handles on the front and back sides of a casket, allowing for eight pallbearers.
Pallbearers are usually close family members and friends. Siblings, adult children, grown grandchildren, nieces and nephews, close friends, and colleagues are all common choices for pallbearers. Most people who you ask to serve as pallbearers will likely accept your offer. However, there may be some people who will be too emotional to do a good job of carrying the casket, and if someone thinks that he or she can't handle being a pallbearer, remember that there are lots of other ways for people to participate in the service.
Honorary Pallbearers
If any people whom you would like to have as pallbearers are not physically capable of carrying the weight of a casket, those people can be made “honorary pallbearers” and can walk beside or behind the casket.
For other ways that friends and family can participate in the service, see our articlePlan the Funeral or Memorial Service.
FAQs
Pallbearers are usually close family members and friends. Siblings, adult children, grown grandchildren, nieces and nephews, close friends, and colleagues are all common choices for pallbearers. However, anyone can serve as a pallbearer.
How do you choose pallbearers? ›
Pallbearers are usually close family members and friends. Siblings, adult children, grown grandchildren, nieces and nephews, close friends, and colleagues are all common choices for pallbearers. However, anyone can serve as a pallbearer.
How are the pallbearers chosen? ›
Pallbearers are usually chosen by the closest relatives of the person who has died, and may be family members, close friends or co-workers. Although pallbearers have traditionally always been men, women are now also given the role. It is considered a great honour to be a pallbearer.
How should pallbearers be listed? ›
Q. Are pallbearer names and honorary pallbearer names supposed to be alphabetized by last name in a funeral service program? A. There is no rule, but if the names are alphabetized, readers may assume that the people are equally important.
Who should not be pallbearers? ›
Generally, it is best not to use immediate family members unless this is something they wish to do for the deceased.
What is the advice for pallbearer? ›
Here are some tips to help you:
The funeral director will help you lift the coffin onto your shoulder. Keep the coffin close to you as you walk. Follow the lead of the funeral director and walk in step together with the other pallbearers. Keep your back straight and your head up.
What is pallbearer etiquette? ›
Pallbearer etiquette
Wear smart and appropriate attire. Walk slowly and steadily. Arrive at the funeral slightly early. Behave in a respectful manner. Avoid talking loudly or laughing.
What is an honorable pallbearer? ›
An honorary pallbearer is someone who will not actually carry the casket but is still recognized in some way. This title is usually used for older friends or relatives who might not be able to physically carry the casket.
Why is there always 6 pallbearers? ›
Traditionally, there are six pallbearers to align with each of the six handles on the sides of the coffin. There are also handles in the front and back, so it is possible to have eight total pallbearers carrying the casket. The number needed depends on the size and heft of the coffin and its contents.
How many pallbearers are usually at a funeral? ›
How Many Pallbearers are There? While there can be as many or as few as desired, there are traditionally six to eight pallbearers. If there are six, three stand on each side of the casket. If there are eight, the extra two stand on the front and back.
Pallbearers serve a crucial role, as they are tasked with physically transporting the casket of the deceased to its final resting place. Originally, pallbearers were responsible for quite literally "bearing" the casket on their shoulders from the church to the cemetery in dignity so that it could be buried.
How much weight does a pallbearer carry? ›
A good rule of thumb is to have one pallbearer for every 25 pounds of weight. For example, if the casket weighs 200 pounds, you will need at least eight pallbearers. Standard caskets usually weigh 160 to 220 lbs, depending on the material. They can carry a body that weighs up to 300 lbs (136 kg).
Do you have to wear a suit to be a pallbearer? ›
TIPS TO FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE A PALLBEARER
Handle it with respect and dignity. o Arrive at the funeral on time or early if requested. o Dress conservatively – a dark suit with a tie for a man and a dark dress or suit for a woman. Page 3 o Listen to instructions and special requests from the funeral director and staff.
Who chooses pallbearers? ›
In most funerals, there are some common choices while selecting pallbearers. Siblings, adult children, grown-up grandchildren or close friends, colleagues or nephews and nieces are frequently selected as pallbearers. There is no written rule as to who can handle this task.
Is it OK for a pallbearer to cry? ›
All eyes are on the pallbearers as they complete their duties, and keeping your composure is important. It is acceptable and normal to shed a tear or two. However, if you are prone to being overly emotional, the role may not be right for you.
Who is traditionally a pallbearer? ›
There may otherwise be pallbearers only in the symbolic sense if the casket is on an animal or vehicle. In Western cultures, the pallbearers are usually male family members, close friends, or colleagues of the deceased.
Who is chosen to be a pallbearer? ›
Pallbearers can be anyone the bereaved or deceased choose. However, they are usually close family or friends like siblings, older children or grandchildren, colleagues, or friends.
What is the customary number of pallbearers? ›
How Many Pallbearers are There? While there can be as many or as few as desired, there are traditionally six to eight pallbearers. If there are six, three stand on each side of the casket. If there are eight, the extra two stand on the front and back.
Should a husband be a pallbearer for his wife? ›
Typically, pallbearers are family members or close friends. Both women and men serve as pallbearers. The decision lays on the mere fact that a casket is a heavy, physical carrying and the person selected must be able to bear the weight.
Can sons of the deceased be pallbearers? ›
I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes, your son can be a pallbearer. Even if he isn't big enough, if he were younger and the other pallbearers can carry the weight of the casket, your son can still walk with them as if he is carrying also. Age has no bearing on who can be a pallbearer.
