Understanding The Connection Between Money & Love - Everything Retirement (2024)

Let’s start with a teaser. What would you guess is most important to a person when it comes to predicting their financial success?

  1. A person’s IQ.
  2. The income and education level of a person’s parents.
  3. A person’s warm, loving, relationships.

If you answered (3), you’re correct, according to Harvard’s 79-year (and still going) study to discover why some people are healthy and happy—and others aren’t. This and other related studies are proving that warm, loving relationships may be the primary determinant when it comes to happiness, health, longevity, and wealth.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development

Known originally as the Grant Study, named after its original benefactor, this research project began tracking 268 Harvard sophom*ores from the classes of 1939-1944. The subjects were interviewed extensively and repeatedly so that virtually every aspect of their lives could be measured and documented.

19 of the original men (only men attended Harvard at that time; the study has been expanded for many years now to include women as well) are still alive and participating, now well into their 90s. Four decades ago, the related Glueck Study began to follow an even larger group of inner-city men in a similar manner. And some of the patterns that have emerged have been unexpected.

The research demonstrated that loving relationships are correlated with both health and happiness to a greater extent than the researchers imagined – an issue we at Everything Retirement have covered in the past.

For instance, the Grant Study and numerous other papers and studies that now comprise the larger Harvard Study of Adult Development show that satisfaction with relationships at age 50 is a better predictor of physical health than cholesterol levels, and highly correlated with longevity.

Loving Relationships & Financial Success

The research also showed a strong link between loving relationships and financial success. Whether the relationship is with a parent, a spouse, grandparents, children or friends, people who love well are inclined to build more wealth.

In his ground-breaking book Aging Well, Harvard research psychiatrist George Valliant found the following (averages):

  • Brotherly love: Men with one or more close relationships with a sibling made $51,000 more per year than men who had poor relationships with their siblings, or no siblings at all.
  • Stable homes: Men who grew up this way took home $66,000 more per year than men from unstable homes.
  • Caring mothers: Men whose mothers were warm earned $87,000 more than men whose mothers were uncaring. The men’s boyhood relationships with their mothers (but not with their fathers) were also associated with effectiveness at work.
  • Home run relationships: The 58 men with the best scores for warm relationships made almost $150,000 more per year than the 31 men with the worst scores!
  • Unhappy childhood? Men who were not close with their parents or siblings in their youth could overcome that disadvantage by developing warm relationships (successful marriage, friendships) in mid-life. By doing this, they could rise to the top in happiness and success in their later years.

Marriage & Money

According to Ohio State’s Jay Zagorsky, who authored Marriage and Divorce’s Impact on Wealth, research on marriage and money shows that married people save more and build wealth faster than single people, unmarried couples, and those who divorce:

  • People who get and stay married each have about double the wealth of single people who never married. In other words, a married couple will have about 4x the wealth of a single, unmarried person.
  • Married people experience net worth increases of 77% over single people.
  • A married couple increases their wealth an average of 16% each year of marriage.
  • After ten years of marriage, couples report an average net worth of $43,000, compared with just $11,000 for people who stayed single.
  • Divorce wreaks economic havoc on individuals, often erasing the gains of marriage. This is not to say you should stay in an unhappy marriage—rather, to acknowledge the financial burden a separation may cause.

Conclusion

Relationships clearly enhance our wealth, and if we wish to live a fulfilled life, our wealth must enhance our relationships. So, the next time you consider cancelling on a friend to work late, fueling a family feud instead of seeking harmony, or giving up on finding the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with, remember to choose love. It’ll pay off in more ways than one!

TOPICS

FINANCES WELLNESS LIFESTYLE FUN RECREATION
RELATIONSHIPS WORK

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FAQs

Are love and money connected? ›

In many relationships, both love and money play a role and the link between the two may be inseparable, and finances can be one of the most common topics of disagreement.

What is important between money and love? ›

Money cannot buy love, but money increases the chances of finding love, and love decreases the need for money. A higher income is associated with less daily sadness but not more daily happiness. A partner should not be a means for your success, but one with whom you share joint flourishing.

Does true love depend on money? ›

Remember that money can't buy love

Consider the adage "money can't buy love". There may be some truth to this saying. For example, people might wind up flocking to you if you become rich, but it might not always be because they truly love you.

Is doing what you love more important than money? ›

There is no universal answer to whether salary is more important than passion. Your decision should be based on your individual circ*mstances, values, and goals. It's important to strike a balance that aligns with your overall well-being and allows you to lead a fulfilling life.

What does the Bible say about love and money? ›

1 Timothy 6:9-11, NKJV

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.”

What role does money play in love? ›

Finances are big in a relationship

72% are willing to assist with paying down their partner's debt. Finances are also factoring into how people show their love, with respondents saying they do so by saving money (24%) and budgeting (23%).

What is the quote about love vs money? ›

Money can't buy you love, because one day money can literally grow wings and just fly away, but someone with a good heart and a contented life stays.

Does money matter when it comes to love? ›

Studies have shown that couples who have similar spending habits, savings goals, and attitudes towards money are more likely to have a successful long-term relationship. By understanding each other's financial habits and priorities, couples can work together to achieve their goals and avoid financial conflicts.

Why is love more powerful than money? ›

Importance of Love: Love is often considered more important than money because it fulfills our basic emotional needs for happiness, connection, and companionship.

Can love survive without money? ›

Love and money are definitely two different things, but they can both play a role in a relationship. While money can provide stability and security, love is about emotional connection and support. It's possible to have love without a lot of money, as long as there's understanding, communication, and shared values.

How do you know if someone loves you or your money? ›

3 . They never talk about their own financial situation: If your partner never talks about their own financial situation, job or future plans, it could indicate they are not interested in building a life with you, but rather just enjoying the perks of your money.

How to tell if someone is just using you for money? ›

Signs You're Being Used
  1. The person asks you for money, favors, or other items. ...
  2. The person imposes on you without consideration for your availability or preferences. ...
  3. The person expects you to take care of their needs. ...
  4. The person appears disinterested in you after their needs have been met.
Feb 14, 2023

Why do people choose money over love? ›

If you are ready to sacrifice, go for it!

Choosing money over love or vice versa is a personal choice. Some people choose money over love out of greed or some are forced to do it for financial stability. If you are ready to sacrifice love, care and deep emotions, then only you will be able to choose money over love.

Is it more important to be wealthy or happy? ›

Happiness is more fulfilling: Wealth can provide us with many material comforts, but it cannot guarantee us happiness. Some studies have shown that beyond a certain point, more wealth does not lead to more happiness, but to more problems and dissatisfaction.

Which is more important between love and money? ›

Both can be important in their own way to make our life work. Money should not be the main objective of your relationship. And financial success usually comes as a result of a partnership that works, from love. That is why it is important to have both money and love.

Can money replace love? ›

Shared values, companionship, intimacy, and working through conflicts together matter far more. Money itself does not buy love, but finances play key roles in relationships for good and bad. Financial stress and arguments over money are common triggers for breakups.

Can you be in love with money? ›

Can we love money too much, or love it inappropriately? Absolutely! We can make it our god, suffer to acquire it, place it above relationships and our own well-being. On the other hand, we can also suffer from not loving money enough.

Who wins love or money? ›

They say love is the best feeling in the world and that those who are lucky enough to experience it are the happiest people in the world. That money should never be compared to love because love is endless and money can't buy love.

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